half falling asleep kris

me: it’s like a mammogram
kris: i thought it was a fruit…a mammogram fruit
kris: what’s the fruit that sounds like a mammogram?

me: tangerine?
kris: no mangogram
kris: it’s an orange oval

talking about the bug i saw earlier

me: i'm so upset about the centipede
kris: centipedes in myyyy vaginaaa
me: OH NO. the centipede is going to crawl into my vagina!!
kris: why?
me: cuz it's nice
kris: yes but it's not like it goes to britain in the summer

Kris: this is my xanga for tina turner...

kris gives such good face. so many boners.

churrs. burrs.

GORGEOSSSSE!!

Cat jokes with Kris.

My boo is a stud.

dick shoes

Kris: uhhhhhhhh
Kris: youre googling dick shoes arent u

Kris would know how much I enjoy this.

tuna is so hot right now

me: hey y'all how u doin im lil tunachi im a new fish i swim in skoolz and im in yo sammy
Kris: hahaha
me: look at me now
me: FISH

uncle shirt

Kris: they regard the shirts as ancestors?
me: forrealz
me: they pose with them in photos
Kris: whoa
Kris: so they think the spirits of their ancestors are in them?
Kris: or just like
Kris: "oh hey, its uncle shirt"
me: omg
me: dying laughing
me: hahahahaha
me: im still laughing
me: uncle shirt
me: omg
me: u are a funny one
me: i think they believe the shirts are embodiments of their ancestors
Kris: ok
me: so kind of like uncle shirt, yes
Kris: hahaha
me: a lot of people burst out crying when they see the shirts
Kris: actually why not use that phrase" embodiment of their ancestors"..that a lil clearer
Kris: cuz otherwise it does sound like uncle shirt
Kris: now i'm lolling
me: UNCLE SHIRT UNCLE KRACKER REMIX

to the best person i know, mr. kristofer william,

i’ve adored spending the last 4 amazing years with you.

i love you boo!

<3

U2

Kris: sleep well
me: u2
me: lol
me: bonooo
Kris: YEA YEA YEA YE AYEA CATORCE
me: SUNGLASSES
me: PIRACY
Kris: AFRICA

This just happened. Oops.

THANKS AUTOCORRECT